Being the adult in the room covers just about everything you'll need to know when managing a community.
I started a Facebook group on currency collecting called Cool Serial in August 2017, which has since grown to over 20,000 members.
Facebook algorithms began asking me around 1,000 members if I wanted to add a moderator. I declined for several reasons but eventually, things became too much for just myself to manage. At about 10,000 members I took on another moderator. My wife also helps with the moderation now, and that rounds out our entire moderation team of three.
I have to say that at its current size, three people can manage it without too much effort.
And it's not a big-brain job to manage the little skirmishes that can happen in any group this size.
Being the adult in the room covers most of Facebook group management.
Managing a group entails responsibility, even if it's not complicated.
Leaders contribute a lot to the tone of a group by how they interact with the members. Members will take behavior cues from these interactions, as well as from what is allowed to happen between members.
From my years managing Cool Serial, I've found that being supportive and being the adult in the room have done the most good in keeping things happy.
Treat other adults as adults
Most of the group members are good people who participate civilly.
Assuming good intent from a reasonable adult works most of the time. This smooths over communication when things aren't clear the first time around.
It's usually clear instantly when dealing with someone who's not acting like an adult. Their days are short in the group.
Craft the rules for the group and stick to them
Facebook has space for ten rules, and we use them all. We've revised them over the years as new situations come up.
Half of the rules deal directly with acting like an adult.
We now require new members to agree to the group rules before we admit them. This sets the tone from the outset and gives us specific things to point to when we take action on posts or comments.
Use the moderation tools available
Being the adult in the room doesn't always require firing up a conversation.
Facebook gives administrators and moderators good tools to enforce rules and provide corrective action to members as needed. This can be anything from slowing the comments, limiting posting frequency, suspending the member for a while, or banning them if things get egregious.
The adult part is using the tools fairly in a way that fits what happened.
Respond rather than react
Controlling people will win if they get a reaction out of you.
We manually approve posts for most people in the group. Occasionally we'll get private messages wondering why their post hasn't been approved yet, like 15 minutes after they submit the post. I guess they figure we just sit in waiting for people to post things.
Most of the time I don't even respond to these messages.
No response is a response.
Or people will submit a post that throws shade at the moderation team about some slight they endured. We respond usually by (a) not approving their post (duh) and (b) either messaging them privately or banning them depending on their history.
Children react. Adults respond.
Take the high road. Always.
I can't remember a time when I've regretted not escalating a situation.
I can remember, however, many times that I wish I hadn't escalated things.
Hamstringing someone publicly or in front of a large group doesn't accomplish anything except rally people against the person doing the hamstringing.
It also gives license for others to do the same, which just makes more work for the moderation team.
Be the adult in the room.
The adultier, the better. Be the adultiest adult there.
It sets a civil, respectful tone. It encourages members to get behind well-thought-out rules.
Be the adult in the room. A dead-simple rule for Facebook group management or other community, no?
(Header photo by Pixabay on Pexels)